So the end of my Big Trip came somewhat sooner and more unexpectedly that I ever anticipated... When I showed up at the border between Botswana and Namibia in mid March, an otherwise lovely immigration officer informed me that with a Polish passport I could not obtain a Namibian visa on the border. Hmmm all the visa research I've done before departure and all the advice I was given from the overlanding company organizing my trip said that yes I needed a visa but I could easily get it on the border. Well, evidently not on this particular border... The officer was polite but very firm. He couldn't let me in, he couldn't issue my visa, no he wouldn't do it for a "special fee", if I wanted a visa I would have to go all the way to a Namibia embassy in Botswana or Zambia. Well, by the time I would get it and catch up with my friends again in the middle of nowhere in Namibia, it'd be days if not weeks and they would be almost down to South Africa ending their journey. So I made an executive decision to say "no" to Namibia this time and to fly home to reunite with friends and family couple weeks earlier than originally planned. And once I made that decision the joy really hit me: I'll see my beloved Cute Dutchman in just couple of days! I'll have more time with my family including the adorable 6 month old nephew I haven't even met yet, I'll have more precious time with Me amongs the luxuries of life I have not experienced for a long time such as hot water, bubble baths, clean clothes, soft bed instead of a tent crawling with little ants (I could not get rid of them in Botswana!), Cute Dutchman right next to me... I am so excited to be going back home! Namibia is not going anywhere, I'll surely visit it one day soon. And I feel ready to embark on a brand new adventure in my life called "re-entering the real world, the rest of my life and seeing what happens"...
Uncertainty and a life lesson how to deal with it
At an emotional, personal level I cannot quite believe my Big Trip is almost over. I have been dreaming about it for years and planning it for months. It feels like yesterday that I gathered the courage to leave the office and board that flight to China and now it's time to go home??? Bugger... I yet again fell in love with Africa all over again. A piece of my heart is left behind here every single time I visit. I love its sounds at night, it pinks and oranges in the sky at dusk and dawn, its tribal village people content in their basic existence and totally oblivious to the concept of the outside world, unpolluted by the silly worries and stresses of our abundant Western ways with our little irrelevant Western life problems...
Now I find myself so very excited about what lies ahead, even though - funnily enough - I actually don't really know what lies ahead. A realization hit me recently that my Big Trip has been an invaluable life lesson in dealing with uncerainty. Few years ago my old self would be freaking out at the thought of not knowing what her life will look life in 6, 12, 18 months. Right now I have no bloody idea to put it frankly. In my relationship I have no clue whether a year from now I will be living in the same country, let alone the same house with the Cute Dutchman. At work I have no clue whether a year from now I'll still be doing the same thing for the same employer or completely different thing for a dofferent organization and where in the world the job will take me next. But I feel so amazingly grateful for all these various opportunities and options my life offers me and I welcome every single one of them with open eyes, arms and heart. Whatever happens, happens. Bring it on, life! I wanted my Big Trip to be an exercise in dealing with uncertainty and the Universe blessed me with plenty of opportunities to practice...
At an emotional, personal level I cannot quite believe my Big Trip is almost over. I have been dreaming about it for years and planning it for months. It feels like yesterday that I gathered the courage to leave the office and board that flight to China and now it's time to go home??? Bugger... I yet again fell in love with Africa all over again. A piece of my heart is left behind here every single time I visit. I love its sounds at night, it pinks and oranges in the sky at dusk and dawn, its tribal village people content in their basic existence and totally oblivious to the concept of the outside world, unpolluted by the silly worries and stresses of our abundant Western ways with our little irrelevant Western life problems...
Now I find myself so very excited about what lies ahead, even though - funnily enough - I actually don't really know what lies ahead. A realization hit me recently that my Big Trip has been an invaluable life lesson in dealing with uncerainty. Few years ago my old self would be freaking out at the thought of not knowing what her life will look life in 6, 12, 18 months. Right now I have no bloody idea to put it frankly. In my relationship I have no clue whether a year from now I will be living in the same country, let alone the same house with the Cute Dutchman. At work I have no clue whether a year from now I'll still be doing the same thing for the same employer or completely different thing for a dofferent organization and where in the world the job will take me next. But I feel so amazingly grateful for all these various opportunities and options my life offers me and I welcome every single one of them with open eyes, arms and heart. Whatever happens, happens. Bring it on, life! I wanted my Big Trip to be an exercise in dealing with uncertainty and the Universe blessed me with plenty of opportunities to practice...
I return home after 8 months on the road:
- more accepting
- emotionally calmer
- less feverishly pursuing and striving
- more tolerant and open to people with views/experiences different than mine
- trusting that Universe will deliver what I want if I'm clear what I want
- believing that everything happens for a reason, even if I don't quite know what it is at the time
- facing inwards instead of outwards
- gratuful, oh so very grateful for what I've been blessed with
- more present in the Now and Here
- chosing to be kind over being right
- chosing to stop comparison thinking from running my life
- taking responsibility (no matter how much I protest, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life)
- not judgmental about the ways of others (if I judge, it says more about me that it says about them)
- more accepting
- emotionally calmer
- less feverishly pursuing and striving
- more tolerant and open to people with views/experiences different than mine
- trusting that Universe will deliver what I want if I'm clear what I want
- believing that everything happens for a reason, even if I don't quite know what it is at the time
- facing inwards instead of outwards
- gratuful, oh so very grateful for what I've been blessed with
- more present in the Now and Here
- chosing to be kind over being right
- chosing to stop comparison thinking from running my life
- taking responsibility (no matter how much I protest, I am totally responsible for everything that happens to me in my life)
- not judgmental about the ways of others (if I judge, it says more about me that it says about them)
- still so very much in love - with Life, the world, and yes the Cute Dutchman :-)
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